Now, which is more informative:
an hour of TV news every day for a month, or five minutes
to read the three Onion paragraphs below:
The whole damn country's been paranoid about terrorism ever since the whole damn country was devastated by terrorism.
Terrorism Storylines Being Added To TV Shows As Quickly As They Were Dropped
LOS ANGELES— Less than two months after frantically excising any allusions to
terrorism, network executives are scrambling to add terror-related storylines to TV shows, sources reported Monday. "We're working around the clock to squeeze in a special episode where a Libyan with ties to Al Qaeda threatens to blow up the D.A.'s office," said Law & Order producer Dick Wolf, who on Sept. 15 scrapped an episode of the NBC drama in which a character utters the word "bomb." "We've got to stay on top of this thing." Next week, Spin City, which last month pulled an episode featuring a shot of the World Trade Center, will air a "very special" one-hour episode in which Mayor Winston is infected with anthrax.
CIA Admits It's Good At Overthrowing Stuff, Not So Much The Intelligence
LANGLEY, VA— Central Intelligence Agency director George Tenet conceded Monday that the organization excels at overthrowing foreign governments but isn't so hot at the actual intelligence gathering. "Iran, Zaire, Guatemala, Chile, Indonesia, Greece,
Panama, Australia, Haiti... we're real good at toppling regimes," Tenet said.
"But just collecting your basic data about who's up to what in the U.S. and whatnot, that's not our strong suit." Tenet added that if the U.S. needed to "swoop in
and take out Colombia's current government, man, we could have that done by the weekend."
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